End Emotional Conflict in Your Relationships
Are any of these true for you?
- You feel rejected, disconnected, and unhappy in your relationships.
- You feel misunderstood, emotionally unsafe, and unheard.
- You feel like you should know how to create happiness and peace in your life, and if you can't there must be something wrong with you.
- You feel that your life could be filled with happiness and peace, but don't know how to get it
If you feel like you should automatically know how to listen, be present, and create loving, peaceful places for your family, you are wrong.
Like most people, you were told what to do by your parents, teachers, pastors, and by the media. You were told to be loving, to be peaceful, to be kind. A bucket load of "shoulds" were dumped on you. Because you were told how you should be, you naturally assumed that you should just have those tools. No one was teaching you how to do the "shoulds," so it was obvious that everyone else already knew. Since you didn't know, you must be stupid, broken or worthless. The fact of the matter is that no one ever taught you how. They didn't know how themselves!
Here's the truth
You were never taught how to connect. You were never taught how to listen. You were never taught how to create a healthy peaceful relationship. You were expected to just "know" how to do this. And because you didn't know and probably still don't, you have beat yourself up.
There is nothing wrong with you
You simply have never been exposed to the real tools of life.
Not your fault
And it's not the fault of your parents, teachers, or pastors either because they didn't know. Nor is it the fault of therapists, psychologists, and counselors, because they too didn't know.
I have spent 30 years figuring out the real tools. I am an Ivy League graduate, a lawyer, and have a Masters degree in Peacemaking and Conflict Studies. If I didn't get it, why would anyone expect you to get it?
I was driven as a professional peacemaker and mediator to find the tools that really worked. I wanted them so I could help people in conflict find peace. And, I wanted them in my own life because I suffered just like you.
It took me awhile, but after a lot of study, trial and error practice, more study, more lab work in the real world, I finally understood. I created a unique and powerful tool box of listening skills. Then, I went into some of the darkest places to test the tools--maximum security prisons working with murderers. If I could get the tools to work there, they would work anywhere. After four years of amazing transformations within the 3 prisons I worked in, I now know that the tools are incredibly powerful, effective, and easy to learn for anyone.
New Science Leads To New Skills
I am now releasing what I have learned into the world. I know for a fact that these are the most powerful relationship tools on the planet. I have had psychologists and therapists come to up me after workshops telling me that in 30 or 40 years of practice they have never experienced anything as powerful as what I teach.
Now, you are probably thinking, "Well, these tools might work for everyone else, but they won't work for me."
Imagine walking into the largest, most violent women's prison in the world to teach women serving life sentences for murder these skills? If you think you have issues around worthlessness, imagine how these women were? They have you beat in spades. And they shifted. The thorns became beautiful roses. The transformations were incredible.
The thing about teaching in prison is that there is no room for fakery. Either you have the right stuff or you don't. Prison inmates live in violent communities and their lives depend on discerning truth from BS. These skills had to work or we were finished. As it turned out, the skills transformed lives in beautiful and amazing ways. These same skills can do the same for you.
In the mini-documentary below, some of the women my colleague, Laurel Kaufer, and I have trained bear witness to the power of the skills.
You Never Listen to Me!
As a professional mediator and peacemaker, I make a living stepping into people's conflicts. After mediating thousands of disputes of all kinds, I will tell you that the single, number one, biggest cause of all conflict, all fighting, and all arguments, is the inability to listen. When I get people who would rather shoot each other with AK 47s to truly listen to each other, magic happens. Emotions calm down, a space for problem-solving opens up, and peace can emerge.
Mike B. is serving a life sentence in prison. He is one of my Prison of Peace students, training to become a trainer. Here's what he told me the other day:
"[These] techniques [have] allowed me to go into a room and mediate a conflict between some guys who were on the verge of killing each other. These tools created a process that allowed them to communicate and walk away while saving face."
Imagine having the confidence to walk into a cell where deadly violence was about to break out, listen deeply to each of combatants, and allow them to save face and gain peace. That's what this course is all about. I know you won't be walking into a violent prison cell, but I know that you probably have conflict or difficulties in your life.
- Elderly parents who are hard to communicate with
- Children who seem demanding
- An emotionally unavailable husband or wife
- An upset friend
- A grieving colleague
What if you could listen to them in a new way. A way that allowed you to be vulnerable and open yet complete empowered. A way that allows them to cry, scream, shout, yell, and insult you without bothering you in the least.
Introducing the Its Pure Magic Online Workshop
Would You Like to Master How To:
- Calm an angry child or teenager in 90 seconds or less
- Listen to your spouse in a way that will transform your marriage
- Create a deep, empathic connection with your lover
- Remain present and calm no matter what you elderly parent says to you
- Create real, sustainable peace in your family, your work, and your community
- Live a centered, calm, empowered life regardless of the drama around you
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I am Doug Noll, lawyer turned peacemaker.. I am an award-winning mediator, author, and trainer. As a professional peacemaker, I have spent years developing an effective listening skill to de-escalate high conflicts in 90 seconds or less. As a co-founder of the Prison of Peace project, I have perfected the techniques with inmates serving life sentences in maximum security prisons. I am making this knowledge available to everyone.
What Makes Its Pure Magic Different and Special
In this online course, I teach you two foundational skills. The first is how to find and state the core message of the speaker. The core message is often much deeper than what the words convey. The second is how to read the emotional data field and respond by simply stating the emotional experience of the speaker. Neuroscientist Matthew Lieberman calls this "affect labeling." His groundbreaking research validated a skill I had developed in my peacemaking practice and gave me deep insights into listening.
Its Pure Magic Should Be Studied with a Trusted Friend.
The best way to master this radical new listening skill is with a trusted friend. Some are reporting to me that they took the course with a teenager and were astounded at the positive change in their relationship. There are 7 video lectures and a 25 page workbook. You can complete the course and begin a new life of tranquility. Of course, mastery takes practice over time. However, if you apply a small amount of effort, you will see huge changes around you.
Here's what some of my live attendees have to say about the course.
"Your presentation is the single most powerful, actionable, and supported teaching Ihave experienced. Thank you so much for sharing your insights."
- Laura K.
I also have to share that your course content has already been so instrumental in my mediations. I’ve been test driving a lot of techniques with great results.
Generally speaking, some courses we take just stand out as a huge value added professionally and personally. Your program has definitely been one of those. Everything I’ve learned, plus the added benefit of having the opportunity to meet you, has made this such a rewarding experience.
Thanks again for everything.- Mark L.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you for teaching us about affect labeling. My husband, a physician, helped me with some of Lieberman's articles last night. And, despite your cautions, we practiced on each other. After being married for over 25 years, we learned things about each other! “-
'Our Asperger grandson flew into a rage last week because his sister appeared to “get credit” for a comment the two of them made at the same time. Linda had listened closely to my description of your teaching and she said to our grandson, “You feel you haven’t been listened to.” He immediately affirmed her statement and then she said, “That makes you feel bad.” Within 10 seconds, the micro-intervention you taught us restored calm and reduced a normally escalating set of circumstances into a calm that might otherwise have taken hours to achieve. Thanks!'
7 video classes, 15-27 minutes each
Downloadable workbook with exercises to help you refine your skills
View on your tablet, smart phone, desktop, or laptop
Simple, Actionable Steps
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No kidding! Only $97.00. This information is so powerful that I want every person to learn the skills. There are no hidden charges, subscriptions, up-sells, or other gimmicks. Questions? Contact me directly at doug at negotiateacenteredlife.com.